Fibromyalgia really sucks at times!

I woke up this morning with ½ an ounce of energy, not feeling like I need to sleep another 12 hours and not wanting to scream at everyone and everything “Don’t touch me!” 

This is the first time all week I’ve felt this good!

Fibromyalgia is a real pain (excuse the pun); it’s an invisible illness with a multitude of symptoms, many different triggers, limited treatments and no cure. Unlike a broken leg or wound, people can’t see it and have no idea that, at times, their hug or pat on the back will cause me pain for hours afterwards. Lack of energy means I can appear lazy, life limitations and the frustration that brings often causes depression or at the very least a case of being "down in the dumps". It’s also hard to describe in a short sentence and most people tune out when an explanation lasts longer.

Getting diagnosed was a major plus for me. OK so it’s incurable but it now has a name and I can learn about it and work with it. A couple of doctors had told me “it’s all in your head” and of course there was always that niggling worry that something dreadful was wrong and going undiagnosed. For me one of the biggest benefits of moving to Germany is the health care. Don’t get me wrong, Britain has a good health care system, with some of the best trained doctors in the world, there’s just not enough money in the system to cover non-essentials, as one British doctor told me “Pain is not an emergency”!!!!!! 

I am blessed to have private health cover here and so have access to virtually any specialist and treatment option available. Having a GP who understands is enormously beneficial, medication helps a lot but until they find a cure, the greatest impact I can have is dealing with the psychosomatic element which is a component of every chronic illness. My attitude has a huge impact on how I cope; ok, so it limits my life choices and is incurable but it won’t kill me. It is NOT cancer, MS, motor-neuron disease or the like. I live in the developed world with good medical-care, I have a very understanding and supportive husband who earns enough to support us both. I’m able to work part-time, have an understanding boss and God is my sustainer and provider of all these things.  Do I focus on the good things in my life or the bad things? It’s my choice.

Identifying stress as one of my triggers and what causes me stress helped a lot. Deal with the past – dragging all that baggage, hurt and pain around really inhibits anybody’s ability to live in freedom and to the full, so screw up your courage and start dealing with it. Seriously, it’s not as bad as your worst imaginings!

Pacing is another thing (and one I struggle with). Like this week, I’ve spend the vast majority of it in bed. After 2 lots of visitors and travels in 3 weeks I was exhausted, I could either fight it or take the time I needed to recoup. They say life is like running a marathon not a hundred metre sprint. In the same way I think that learning to live with Fibro is like training for a marathon, training plans start out with short walks and daily/gently progress to slow jogging, adding distance and speed over the weeks and months until 26.2 miles becomes an attainable goal, plus accepting that there will be set backs and adjusting things accordingly. Will I ever run a marathon? Errrrrr, NO! A half-marathon? Also doubtful. But am I content to only ever be a spectator? Most definitely not!  That’s why a 5K is on my list of goals.

Balancing the necessary and the nice, 4 days in bed does not a tidy house make. Today, laundry is fluttering on the balcony and the bathroom is clean but as for the rest, well the dust bunnies can wait! I’m going for a walk along the river with Mr H :o)

“Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” – Phil 4:8 The Message